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Simply put, I’m taking the next leap forward. I am actively seeking new talent in various mediums so that I might network with them, interact with them, and draw inspiration. Happy Gore is my new domain. I run a YouTube channel by the same name and I use that tag wherever I roam.
If you have been a long time follower, you know my posts range from opinion pieces, rants, news pieces, and very personal entries. Most of that will still stay the same, except now I’m more interested in being active in small filmmaking and music circles so most posts are intended to generate exposure for my acquaintances. The way I see it, I’m helping myself to their work, immersing myself in the art and voice of others, and rather than take my dose of it and move on, I’d like to “deal” this natural drug to others, stranger, friend or foe. Art is important.
Lately I’ve been spending time reading literary essays and watching films. Slowly I’m reading more fiction, but my anxiety makes it very difficult to hold a book in front of my face and focus on the small text. But every day I read at least 1 short story and thus far they’ve been from a volume of short stories from H.P. Lovecraft. I respect his work immensely and derive pleasure from the natural mental high I achieve from his magical prose. My goal is to understand the human condition and my soul so that when I sit to write my movies, I wont be selling my characters short. My cowardice is keeping me from attempting another story, and while I recognize this is a vile way to live, I nourish my creative spirit by studying the works of others. It may or may not be working, but at the end of every day I feel more satisfied. I’m no longer in the dark, I’ve dove into the unknown but I’m finding strange things I can call my own.
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This headline made news. A little background:
64-year old Pearl Pearson allegedly fled the scene of an accident. Police later pulled him over in which he fully complied. Apparently he even rolled his window down in anticipation of this stop…. but what happened next baffles me.
Police allegedly beat this man, for no good reason, right then and there. First off, the link I provided is to News One, the individuals who published what I feel is hate speech. Plain and simple. News One was so desperate for a story, they felt the need to include the fact that Mr. Pearson is diabetic and disabled, . Here, just read the first line of their piece:
“Pearl Pearson, 64, a diabetic, deaf driver who resides in Oklahoma City was allegedly viciously beaten for seven minutes by police because he did not respond during a traffic stop…”
The article then goes on to emphasize Mr. Pearsons inability to hear and use that as a tool to pry at their readers emotions. However, it states in that very same article that Mr. Pearson was fully aware he was being stopped:
“Pearl pulled over and rolled down his window, expecting an officer to ask for this identification.”
In which the article then really begins to not make sense:
“An officer struck him in the face before Pearl had the chance to do anything. As you can see, he was struck multiple times.”
What?? Now we can either consider one of two things here: 1. Police brutality. There was absolutely no other reason aside from the cops desire to beat up on this 64 year old man.
or 2. We don’t have all the facts.
Of course one could argue both points at the same time, but let’s be real here. Let’s take a good look at who’s perpetuating this fluff; News One whose slogan is “For Black America”, Black Youth Project, Cop Block (a publication with a “shared goal of police accountability.” These publications, if I dare call them that, all seem motivated in their own way to publish this kind of smear article. How disgusting is it to exploit a man in order to form the most sensational headline you can think of?
But let’s pull in the Huffington Post who raked a more modest: “Police Allegedly Beat Pearl Pearson For Disobeying Orders He Could Not Hear.” Now that’s a headline you can focus on while reading the article by asking yourself questions such as “Were there even orders given? Was the man incapable of acknowledging any such orders?” The latter strays a bit from the point, so let’s just focus on the aspect of him being unable to hear the orders. Okay. That’s not disputed. If this man is truly deaf, there is no way in hell he heard anything. So why even focus on that in the first place? Because he was allegedly beaten by police so that must be because he didn’t hear their orders or else they wouldn’t have hit him!
Give me a break.
I guess I could talk myself in circles with this one. My point is, be careful when reading the news. There are always going to be people behind every word you read, and they have agendas. And their interest isn’t always in consideration of what makes quality journalism.
An article surfacing out of Oklahoma sounds awfully different. Don’t pick sides, pick facts.
Mickey Sumner and Greta Gerwig performed flawlessly together in Frances Ha. I feel the need to mention this movie because it’s important to discuss films and to not forget about them. Because they’re like good memories and if you forget the good memories then you’re selling yourself short. Of course there are the sad memories which is why it’s imperative there is a balance. Mickey Sumner plays Sophie in Frances Ha. Sophie is a very spoiled twenty-something woman with a genius brain and a witty tongue and you follow her throughout the film from Frances’ perspective, played by Greta Gerwig. I don’t plan to say much at all about this movie but I had to bring it up in order to highlight Ms. Sumner.
Mickey Sumner is a fairly new actress making her debut with We’re Going to the Zoo, a short film directed by Joshua Safdie in 2006. She went on to star in six more short films and acting in a TV series called The Borgias before being cast in the feature film, Frances Ha. The reason I wanted to discuss Mickey is I feel she is only just beginning her acting career. She’s a very talented actress and I am confident Greta will be casting her in future projects which will make her hot in the indie scene while quite possibly opening doors in mainstream cinema. Greta Gerwig seems like a very emotional actress and watching her seems almost like watching a dream and she has this dopey look/sound that is so enticing I find myself falling in love with her whenever I see her on the screen.
But all this is just a prequel to who I really want to talk about: Joaquin Phoenix. This man is one of the greatest actors I’ve had the pleasure of watching on the big screen. While I haven’t seen all of his films, the ones I have seen left a lasting impression. Most recently, Her has left the biggest impression. This tragically beautiful love story between writer Theodore Twombly and his operating system Samantha pulled on my heart strings harder than ever before. I can’t even talk about this film because every bit of it was so important to me and I don’t want to have any influence over what you may think before seeing it. I’ve already said too much! I guess that’s a good transition into my next point… Inherent Vice. This film which still doesn’t have a release date (but claims to be in post-production) stars Joaquin Phoenix as a drug-addicted detective who investigates the disappearance of his girlfriend. This movie boasts an all-star class including Jena Malone, Josh Brolin, Reese Witherspoon, Owen Wilson, Benicio del Toro, and Martin Short. Call me naive, but normally I can eyeball a cast and predict the outcome of the film. Normally I always give it two thumbs up if there’s a reputable cast no matter who the director is. Because while the director is important, the talent lies in the actors.
What movie are you looking forward to this year? Who is your favorite actor?
There once lived two brothers in their 30s*. One of them was very free spirited, open minded, and peaceful but lived in his mothers basement. The other brother was financially stable, worked a 9 to 5 office job but his marriage was failing and he only saw things in black and white.
One day, the peaceful brother, we’ll call him Jim, and the other brother, Mark, were sitting in a cab together during a traffic jam. After five minutes or so a helicopter zooms past the cab and Jim looks out at it and has a moment of realization. He throws open the cab door and darts out onto the busy street chasing after the helicopter. Only moments after, Mark chases after him.
Chasing after the helicopter brought Jim to the cause of the traffic jam; a horrific car accident in which one of the cars had gone over the bridge and was slowly sinking in the ocean. Without a second thought, Jim jumps off the bridge and into the water. He dives and emerges a minute or two later with two little girls who are calling out to their daddy, “Daddy, where are you? Please save our daddy, please!” Jim hands the two girls over to a friendly man in a boat. Again, without a second thought, Jim dives back under water. Mark then catches up to the scene and is able to piece together that his brother was underwater. But seconds later a man resurfaces but it’s not Jim, it’s the the little girls dad. In a panic, Mark jumps into the ocean to find him.
Mark is underwater for a good two minutes before surfacing and pulling Jim up with him. Jim isn’t breathing. A rescue boat pulls the two gentleman in and attempt to rescue Jim. “He’s not breathing! Jim, wake up! Please wake up!” Mark said. The two paramedics delivered air to his lungs but he was still unconscious. Mark stayed by his brothers side begging for him not to die.
Before I continue, this is where I’d like to stop and give my thoughts. There are countless people in the world who are selfish and care about nothing outside of their personal life. They don’t question things and they don’t cry for people who aren’t in their lives. There are numerous individuals who just don’t get how special and unique life is and they persist in this bleak vision of the world, a very selfish and close-minded one, and make fun of those who embrace life in all its forms. People like Jim, on the other hand, are part of the special few who have so much love and compassion and they are so rare. People like Jim are the ones we all wish there were more of. So right here in the boat when Jim is about to die, we cry. We cry and beg for him not to go. Not Jim, please not Jim. He’s a great guy, we need him. We need him to share his heart with us so that maybe we can become better and love as much as Jim does. And what about Mark? We hate to admit it, but maybe Mark should be the one who is dying, not Jim. But then we remember, that’s not the answer.
And then it hit me… One person dies, and three live. If it weren’t for Jim, the two girls wouldn’t have had a daddy. Even worse, without Jim, those two little girls might still be at the bottom of the ocean. So even if Jim were to die right now, he has changed the lives of many and will serve as an inspiration from the legacy he leaves behind.
So when Jim wakes up and pukes seawater and his sandwich from lunch, life rushing back to his face and a blank stare filling his eyes, the world changes. Jim changes. Life is amazing and so short and we must not take it for granted.
*This story is from a film but I’m omitting the name to save from spoiling it.
We all have that thing we do to express ourselves. And to be completely honest, I can’t say I know you or anyone reading this is being completely honest in their expressions. You know what I mean… Deep down you’re feeling angry, sad, resentful, and you want to blame people. But what you post online are beautiful pictures of where you live and post about that new hot chocolate recipe you found and brag about this past Sunaday’s TOTALLY AWESOME family movie night!!!
… Yeah, so anyways. I can totally sympathize with people who are somewhat forced to present a more exaggerated, fluffed up lifestyle if you have coworkers or family keeping tabs on ya. And that’s perfectly fine but my point is those people are the same people who have moments where they kinda just stop what they’re doing and question what the fuck everything is even for? Not even in a depressing, impending doom type of way but that sudden mini panic where you lose grip and you descend to a really dark place but you can’t make sense of what surrounds you so you wait until it passes and forget about it. This is probably a good idea seeing as negativity can more than likely just be poison to ones life. All this rambling is bringing me to my main point:
I made the decision to remove my filter. I made that only because it was the only way I could see myself climbing my way out of this noxious hole I dug all by my lonesome. Tangled up in twisted vines of anxiety and self-doubt, fear and anger, I could spend days, literally DAYS coming up with reasons why I didn’t have to go outside or excuses why I was so sad and it was okay to do nothing. But all I really wanted was to make a connection, and I couldn’t do that where I was at. So I risked it all and put my heart out there. And I’m not stupid, I wasn’t expecting butterflies and gumdrops falling out of an angels coochie but like HELLO, DON’T IT FEEL GOOD TO LET LOOSE! Also, I was obsessed with the idea that I needed to STOP being sober to enjoy myself but that is definitely not the case now. I learned that by being completely honest with myself I had no reason to escape. I chose this life. I chose to be raw and honest. And of course there are days, LIKE TODAY (AHEM), where I question this decision.
People can say some things that hurt me deep down and it’s so dumb because they aren’t necessarily attacking me personally but it’s just the fact that I didn’t make that connection with them, and they’re another soul floating by me. That terrifies me and upsets me. I want to love and I always have my arms open and when I miss these connections I blame myself but I know I shouldn’t so I’m working on that. Everyone’s different and we don’t all sing the same tune so it’s only natural to clash with others at times.
That’s all I have to say for now. My laptop screen is dim and my room is dark and I haven’t been to sleep yet so I need to chill out. Until next time…
Get ready for some real fuckery, because I’m in a mood and I don’t know what to do about it so I cam here. UGH.
Okay so I watched the movie “Her” by Spike Jonze and I’ll be 10000% real with you… I cried at least 6 times. DAMN that movie is INTENSE. I mean… it plays with your mind but your heart at the same time. You fall in love with Samantha, you feel her, understand her, and want her… And then things change. I’m not going to spoil any parts of the film, you just have to see it. But it got me fucked up. I’m the kind of person who realizes works of fiction aren’t TOTALLY real but they are real to me. I take them seriously and I don’t care if that scene in the movie was supposed to be in Paris but is actually a lot in California.. My imagination is strong enough to live with those characters and flow with the fiction. It’s deeply personal. It’s so personal that it has a tremendous impact on my emotions. It’s real, man!!!
Fiction is the truth within the lie, Stephen King said. And this is what I mean. This. While what you see on the screen might not be recorded to have happened scene by scene word for word DOESN’T MEAN IT’S NOT REAL…. Get real!!! Open your eyes and your heart to the world and stop being afraid to believe! Damn… How can you live with yourself if you can’t dream a little? How can you take life so literally to not let yourself dwell in the clouds for a little bit?? And then you turn around and people are actually bitching about religion and politics and all this fucking filthy bullshit BUT I mean it’s not always a bad thing.. I get that politics is important but all I’m saying is you need to believe in Fantasia or else Fantasia will be no more, that kingdom will be destroyed by the Nothing and you will be shut out of it’s warm embrace. You have it in you!! You can create worlds! What’s holding you back!!! We don’t live forever, you aren’t guaranteed a tomorrow! So allow yourself to cry over a fairytale, talk to imaginary people, write your thoughts and speak your mind just please don’t wait.
You don’t have forever. You have today, so do it. Do that thing you keep putting off. Quit being so scared… it’s not like we’re all fearless inhuman warriors. Even the bravest tremble and fall. But it doesn’t mean they don’t try. FUCK.
While he hasn’t made any definitive statements, American Idol star Clay Aiken is clearly interested in his chances of taking a seat in congress. An article in Mercury News reports Aiken is reaching out to a Democratic political consultant and pollsters while his focus is on the odds of replacing Republican Rep. Renee Ellmers in North Carolina’s 2nd District.
We have another flu warning sweeping the United States. While this is nothing new, it’s always good to keep tabs on any warnings of the virus spreading and it appears this season medical professionals want the public to know this flu is starting to effect more young people than 2009′s H1N1 that targeted the elderly or those with weak immune systems. Of course, it’s highly recommended that you get vaccinated but before you do, make sure you know what’s in these vaccines. Especially if you have a strong immune system, a lot of times these vaccines do more harm than good. In an article titled, 20 Reasons Why The Flu Shot Is More Dangerous Than The Flu it outlines the lack of evidence supporting claims that vaccines are effective in young children. The article reads, “A systematic review of 51 studies involving 260,000 children age 6 to 23 months found no evidence that the flu vaccine is any more effective than a placebo.” Another notable side effect of vaccines is immunosuppression which is a weakening of the immune system. On the other hand, the Center for Disease Control states if an individual fits any of these categories that they are at a higher risk for getting sick:
- People who are at high risk of developing serious complications (like pneumonia) if they get sick with the flu.
- People who have certain medical conditions including asthma, diabetes, and chronic lung disease.
- Pregnant women.
- People younger than 5 years (and especially those younger than 2), and people 65 years and older.
- A complete list is available at People Who Are at High Risk of Developing Flu-Related Complications.
- People who live with or care for others who are at high risk of developing serious complications (see list above).
- Household contacts and caregivers of people with certain medical conditions including asthma, diabetes, and chronic lung disease.
- Household contacts and caregivers of infants less than 6 months old.
- Health care personnel.
USA Today describes the origin of this years flu season to be in the South: “North Carolina has reported 13 deaths according to the state’s Department of Health and Human Services. Hidalgo County in Texas has had six deaths and two people have died in Salt Lake City, according to Utah health officials.” During the emergence of H1N1 in 2009 -2010 there was an estimated 284,000 deaths worldwide. While H1N1 poses a great threat in America and Canada, it’s not the most prominent strain worldwide. For example, Europe is seeing a lot of H3′s and influenza B virus.
A new report in USA Today provides new evidence regarding Paul Walker and Roger Rodas tragic death:
“The coroner report states that neither Rodas, 38, nor Walker, 40, had alcohol, cocaine, marijuana or other impairing drugs in their system.”
The car was driving at speeds exceeding 100 MPH and it appears the driver lost control of the vehicle for that very reason. Perhaps there is a different answer, but the article claims the reason(s) for losing control are still unknown. Deputy medical examiner Lawrence Nguyen said, “the cause of the death was the effect of traumatic and thermal injuries,” while going on to say the entire crash was ruled an accident.
CBC News outlines The Obama administrations proposal of two executive orders aimed to strengthen the federal gun background check system. The first from the Justice Department is aimed to clarify ambiguous terms describing the conditions regarding individuals with a history of mental health issues:
“For instance, the agency would clarify that the statutory term “committed to a mental institution” includes involuntary inpatient as well as outpatient commitments. “
The second regulation proposed by the Health and Human Services department allows a limited bypass of rules and regulations enacted by the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA) which means HIPAA-covered individuals will be able to submit limited information to the background check system. The article goes on to verify that the proposal does not exclude those who seek mental health treatment to purchase a firearm or reporting on any general mental health appointments.
In September the Justice Department dished out $27.5 million to 42 states in an effort to reinforce information sharing and fortify the federal background check system. “In 2014, the Obama administration plans to spend $50 million more.”
What’s up mother fuckers. It’s come to my attention that I love my country. However, I know very little of its history and current affairs. Perhaps I’m being modest, but I like playing it safe. I have an announcement and it’s kinda a big deal especially if you follow me and actually care about what I write.
I was on Tumblr considering making an opinion blog in which I’d comment on current affairs. BUT, I figured it might be better to simply direct myself to WordPress and utilize my current blog for that purpose. To be more clear, I’m opening up my blog to topics that expand further than fiction and short-sighted personal opinions. I’m going to try writing about geopolitics and other issues involving humans. It might be a deep desire to change the world, or it might simply be an excuse for me to bullshit myself into thinking I’m aware of what’s going on. Whatever the case may be, I NEED this. I need a platform to express my opinions on various issues. What’s more, I need YOUR input.
I want to report various news on this blog and I desperately want to open up a dialog with all you readers. You’re wildly intelligent and I fucking love you in a strange “I’ve never met you” sort of way and I KNOW you have something unique to offer even if it’s one word or an entire essay. I’ll read it all. I need it.
I crave information. I’ll be back with more. This has been a warning.
“but life is already sad enough, would we want more horror or we want something brighter to escape the present?”
A friend said this to me during a talk last night. She also went on to say I don’t seem like the type of person who enjoys the darker side of things. And I suppose that’s true. I have blonde hair and green eyes, roughly 5′ 10″ and try to appear as clean as possible. I have somewhat of a baby face and even if one were to step into my bedroom I have no posters on my walls save for one from Pulp Fiction and one painting of a brightly lit city at night and nothing that indicates I enjoy horror unless you go to my closet to a single shelf lined with various horror titles.
For whatever reason people feel the need to change their appearance to match how they feel on the inside. I’ve seen countless individuals clad in all black including nails and hair and makeup who claim they’re obsessed with all things dark and that’s fine I just never understood why you had to look a certain way. Maybe it’s to prove a point? Not sure. All I know is I gladly wear my polos or button up dress shirts and look like a good little boy while I imagine being shot in the face by my teacher the day he comes to school with a pump shotgun to off his class of underachievers. Then again, part of me wishes I could dress in all black, wearing shirts of infamous serial killers and tattoo my body in the most offensive images I can imagine. Why would I do this? As a warning to others. I’m too polite for my own good. People just… they really upset me and they ask me questions that I can’t answer and the way they look at me and the way their voice sounds is enough to set me off. But I have to stay cool.
I live for horror. The cold filters, the blood stained walls, watching demented killers peel back the sanity of its victims. But on a lighter note, I woke up this morning playing out one of my stories in my head. I have a shed in the backyard which would work quite nicely as a mini dungeon. I have ropes to tie the actor with, materials, just need the fake blood. The next step is a hard one: Finding people to help me execute my vision. Unfortunately, I have no friends who are willing to take risks and fail. I’ve tried reaching out to them and they’ve slapped my hand away enough times for me to finally get the message. That’s okay. One day they’ll realize failing is an important part of success.